As the year comes to a close I have been fretting about Time; the familiar angst of many, of not having enough and of too much that has slipped through my fingers. My own face has betrayed this passage of time and although I am mortified by my own vanity I find the evidence of my mortality excruciating . I chuckled at myself while at the gym this morning, these pretty rosy-faced boys milling about and I gaze at the endless mirrors at my own visage-I have in attempt to distract from the effects of gravity , half heartedly started growing a beard, sadly I do not look ruggedly handsome but more like a destitute reprobate.
Vanity, there is a reason it is one of the Seven Deadlies.
I can chuckle at myself so that is a good sign, particularly as I had the thoroughly un-original epiphany that the only effective solution to aging is Death-I’ll pass for now.
Death and the Maiden
oil on canvas
2011
This silly fretting about time is absurd particularly given how many loved ones I have known, including my first partner Douglas, that have died far, far too young. It seems trite ( and frankly untrue) to say I appreciate the wrinkles of Time but I will give gratitude a shot this year.
Wish me luck and wishing all a rich and fulfilling 2014.
With gratitude and sincerityLg
Boondocks Babylon 
you are perfect 😀
this post is fantastic, i can’t tell you how much i love it. the painting is exactly the right mood 😀
happy new year!!
It’s a terrible thing never to grow old (we’ve just been a fellow this past week in his 60s who never let himself grow old–and it’s a sad thing). The people we love most are not of the airbrushed kind, but have their characters written all over their faces by Time, that wry chiseler. There’s something comforting and generous in seeing someone’s crow’s feet smile at back at you.
But you’re right, it’s sometimes hard to see our own wrinkles and droopiness! (And boy am I confronting that at having just turned another decade…) Just know that they really do make you more beautiful to others, not less.
Wishing you a wonderful 2014!
Dear Claire,
As you can imagine I have more than a few acquaintances that have chosen the surgeon’s knife over gravity. I get the impulse, but so gruesome, and particularly challenging on fellows. Women seem, for a time , to get away with some work.Perhaps it is our societal understanding of what is beautiful and what is gendered, but plastic surgery leaves a “feminizing” appearance to men which doesn’t always work that well.But eventually everyone looks absurd-AND still told how great they look.
I’ve recovered existentially, shaved off the damned itchy beard and getting on with work at hand.
I am saddened I wasn’t there for your recent b’day, a package did at long last just go out-David is dropping it at the post office today. So keep an eye out.
Love to you ,
Lg